Victoria, Australia


Journeying the Dark Erotic – A Conscious Self-Discovery Workshop

Innate Wisdom Connection / Journeying the Dark Erotic – A Conscious Self-Discovery Workshop

Journeying the Dark Erotic – A Conscious Self-Discovery Workshop

Seeking something different?

More fulfilment and connection?

To open more depth and intimacy in your relationship/s?

        Expanding your awareness, horizons and skills?

Many of us are intrigued by ideas of the shadow erotic. Yet discouraged when we consider exploring this amazing area of human connection and fulfilment. Usually due to stereotypes, sensationalised ideas, or unrealistic romance fiction. Or put off by concerns that everyone who takes such a journey must be exhibitionistic/voyeuristic, polyamorous, naturally confident, and potentially sadistic or masochistic.

What if none of that was necessary or true? What if there are ways to engage with your shadow erotic archetypes based on sensitivity, slow magical immersion, and deep personal connection? Activities and props that support you experiencing magical fulfilling experiences with the focus on intimacy, connection, and the mysterious and powerful ‘dance’ between you.

Such explorations can be powerful and extremely beautiful explorations of intimacy, and even potentially a healing journey around blocks to self-acceptance and full self-expression.

If you are intrigued by your erotic shadows and would like to discover or expand grounded skills and perspectives that can open up exciting new and deeper possibilities for fun, adventure and real intimacy… well that is what this workshop is all about.


Whether you have just dabbled, or are experienced in, Kink/BDSM and are wanting something different or more deeply personal… 

Or are experienced and want to strengthen your skills in intuition, non-verbal communication, and in taking someone on, or surrendering into, a dark and delicious journey…. 

Or have been on the journey of self-discovery for a while and see the shadow erotic as a new doorway that it is time to open or open further… 

Or maybe you want to experience safely held, non-judgemental, deeply supportive self-awareness/healing around intimacy, relationships, conscious relating, sexuality or love…

Or have you explored Contemporary/Shamanic Tantra, Spirituality, and want to expand or discover expanded human connections in the shadows too…

Singles, couples, thrupples or any configuration relationships.

….that’s what’s on offer here!

This workshop will likely appeal to people who:

  • Want to have an exciting, fun, weekend of self-discovery, healing and connection;
  • Want to expand their skills, awareness and horizons;
  • May feel shy and private about their interest in their ‘darker’ erotic edges but are keen to learn a conscious and responsible approach;
  • Want to go on deeper personal journeys of  intimacy, sexuality or ‘kink’;
  • Are explorers of their own depths for fun, for self-empowerment, or personal healing, and are drawn towards the mysteries of the dark erotic.


On this weekend we will discover and practice:

  • Letting ourselves enjoy the darkness and shadows that are part of every connection and relationship

  • Fluency in Consent/Boundaries

  • How to design Intentional Space

  • Understanding your Erotic Shadow Archetypes

  • Enjoying Fun & Informative Practice Games

  • Healing Cultural Shame/Guilt

  • Introduction to Trauma Awareness

  • Grounding in Practical Skills & Safety

  • Increased Confidence through Grounded Experience

This workshop will be mostly experiential, and teach participants skills that are fun and confidence building. There are important edges of practicality that mean people will leave realistically informed (in ways that browsing the internet or reading popular romance fiction cannot).


Learning how to explore these experiences consciously leads not only to more relaxed and non-pressured interactions, but also opens the possibility for very rich, dark, even beautifully magical archetypal explorations. The intentional approach can often lead to the deepest, darkest and most fulfilling interactions.

Many people feel safer and more confident to go deeper in connections and with themselves when they feel fully met, seen and held. Most of us are more likely to trust being more intimately open with a partner who has learnt some solid basic skills (as opposed to someone who is ‘winging it’ based on some dodgy ideas from the internet or popular fiction).

What are your shadows, fantasies and intrigues? This workshop offers opportunities to explore them consciously, safely and authentically.

In this workshop participants are often pleasantly surprised to find that the greatest thrills and excitement are found in dancing on their unique personal edges. Sensitive people who find a lot of shadow play very intense can have amazingly powerful dark experiences in the care of someone who can artfully honour their personal edges and dance together with them there. (Rather than pushing towards some cookie-cutter fictional-based expectation that every person must conform to the porn stereotypes.)

What you will get from this event:

  • Something very different and exciting

  • Confidence to approach the erotic shadows with fulfillingly slow conscious action rather than performance-based stereotypical expectations

  • Building grounded realistic confidence through knowledge and experience

  • Creating ‘care & connection’ and holding these as important values

  • Healing, self-awareness and letting go of some obstacles to connection and intimacy

  • Building clear frameworks of informed consent and making sure everyone is on the same page. Communication, communication, communication…

  • Acknowledging and making friends with cultural shame and guilt and so becoming free of their grip

  • Identifying and embodying your primary erotic archetypes

  • Basic safety awareness and skills around shadow activities

  • Becoming awesome at non-verbal communication (especially useful for anyone in the Dominant role)

  • Learning to identify and play at the realistic level of your current skillset and confidence

The intent of this retreat is to provide participants with better abilities to explore and enjoy the Dark Erotic, Shadow Tantra, Healing and expanded connection.

There is NO nudity or sexual contact and no compulsory practices as part of the event. All sensitivities, boundaries and emotions are fully honored. This is an opportunity to enjoy discovering yourself, safely open to the excitement and power of what your shadows offer, and to learn powerful practicalities. Playful and interesting reference experiences are explored at your own edges and limits, so that you can return informed to your personal life to explore your new learnings there.


This weekend is a group experience where everyone is equally valued and supported. The facilitators and assistants strongly value the ‘down to earth’ approach. There is no private play between facilitators and participants.

Arven Alexander 

Arven’s background trainings and experiences behind this event are deep studies of Transpersonal Psychology, Experiential Arts Therapy, Ecstatic Dance, Authentic Relating and Contemporary & Shamanic Tantra. He has also been Victorian co-ordinator, assistant, and guest facilitator with organisations such as the ‘International School of Temple Arts’ (ISTA), ‘Authentic Relating Training International’ and London’s ‘School of Erotic Mysteries’.

He is a pragmatic guy from the North of England who became interested in self-development early in life, and had the courage to keep that intrigue alive despite not originally feeling or being remotely confident or skilled. This means he teaches from a position of realness, practicality and humility, without putting on airs or graces, and holds space in ‘circle’ rather than ‘front of room’. He has been facilitating Authentic Relating events since 2006 and Shadow Tantra since 2009.

Phoenix Arrien: Phoenix is passionate about supporting people’s journeys towards connection with themselves and others for personal and community, healing and transformation. She believes that deep listening, safe space, supportive community and sacred ritual can help provide paths to a happier life and a better world.She is a workshop facilitator with over 25 years experience working with people,  helping her develop great sensitivity, insight and depth.

Her training and experience includes Counselling, Tantra, Shadow Tantra & Conscious Kink Practitioner, training, Jungian Psychology, Core Shamanism, Australian indigenous healing, Cherokee and Maori bodywork, Native American and South American healing, dance/movement, Adventure-based Counselling, Process-oriented Psychology, Voice Dialogue, Deep Ecology, Healing Ecology, massage, reiki, writing and meditation. She has a deep interest in shadow-work, energy-work, relationships, the shadow-erotic, shamanic traditions, indigenous healing, community and authenticity.