‘Websites of most therapists are written by or influenced in some way by marketers or marketing.’

This came up in my Jungian/Post-Jungian Psychology Applied Clinical Concepts class this week.

The point was that most therapy websites are there to attract and sell to people and so tell the wrong story…a story that gives people a golden impression of therapy to make it sound appealing. Do people need to be hooked, persuaded, jolted, impressed or guilted into therapy?

If not, will people who need therapy, which is almost all of us, commit to doing the hard yards of looking into themselves?

Especially with so many websites promising that you can clear all your blocks in 3 minutes or go through the 10 stages of achievements to manifest anything you desire or flick away pesky emotions with a meditative nod and an inner smile?

Do therapists have to coax people in on a golden promise and then be open about what a challenge it will be?

Now I am not against marketing, just some of the tactics that are used that stray far from integrity and are manipulative. I get it though…how do you promote yourself, how do you get yourself out there, how do you stand out from the masses of therapy websites.

If you laid out the truth of therapy, that it takes time, commitment, courage and change…would that work?

The problem is that we are creatures of reward and in our society we have been conditioned for quick rewards and avoidance of pain.

So if I say in my website that therapy takes time, courage, blood, sweat and tears, combined with a lot of warm reassurance, some jaw-dropping challenges, a lot of messiness, a bit of humour and yes definitely very fabulous life-changing rewards, we would lose you early on.

We would lose you at blood, definitely lose you at sweat and probably never even reach the tears, much less the rest of it.

We would lose you even more when we mention that we dont have the answers but can help you find your own, that you need to trust that you will get through and that you are your own best expert.

There are many internal critical voices inside us that will say hah that is not the way to go, so lets find a website where we are promised the answers and we don’t have to actually feel or take the time to be vulnerable and even scared at times. Yo no no! Pass me the guru, the Aya or the vodka or the distraction!

Because, well, good therapy that actually works is not easy. Change does not happen in our comfort zones…change occurs at the edges. Change occurs when we HAVE to change. Most of us unfortunately have an aversion to change.

It is usually when we are standing side by side with a good therapist in that confusing scary place outside our comfort zones that we then see what needs changing or facing or addressing or shifting or letting go…etc.

But why go in there willingly, especially when Game of Thrones is on and I can enjoy a safe quick shot of emotional jolting when someone is killed, which apparently happens often in GOT? Haven’t I felt enough already?

We usually only change when we have to…which is why a crisis or health scare or reaching rock bottom or an impending divorce or some other intense life experience shows us that we had better change so this…this…experience…does not get worse and then we are prepared to risk looking deeply into ourselves.

That is a hard sell and does not sound cosy and comforting and, well, golden.

It is not a hot water bottle or a holiday in the Bahamas, it is wading around in the shadows of the psyche to bring into focus the hidden pain that is still impacting us and has for a long time..up to the surface of awareness to be felt and understood as gently and daringly as we can.

It is to be seen and heard and understood by ourselves as well as the therapist. It is to carefully reintegrate the traumatised or blurry fragments of our psyche into wholeness. It is to face what is not working or not right or not good in our lives and do something about it. It is to face what we hide from ourselves or think that others won’t accept if we share it.

Therapy does make our lives better and the rewards are unimaginably positive. I know this from both sides of the couch. However it may sound daunting or out of reach especially at the beginning. It is not.

However if there is a fast track we will jump on it, we modern fast people, and websites with fast track promises like transcending those pesky emotions, just letting go of anything you dont like in 3 easy steps, manifesting what you mind thinks is going to bring contentment, choosing the right path via questionnaires, ingesting plants, all the solutions you need in 5 sessions and basically doing as you are told because others know you better than you know yourself, all sounds a lot easier.

I know I have tried most of these things in my long years of trying all the fast things before I actually faced what is inside me with time and commitment.

However back to marketing…there are plenty of programs or workshops that give you ‘big discounts’ for the first 50 people who book or only have a few places left or are about to close down so get in quick or our family, partner, kids, bank account will love you for it or promise you will walk out of the clinic with your pain all gone.

It is not gone. The psyche does not let go of embedded patterns and pain that quickly and some pain may stay around but be more manageable in time or our relationship to it can change and it has far less impact, it may even become an ally.

We feel better when we address the causes of not feeling better at the roots. At the cause, at ground zero.

We REALLY feel better then. And it is worth the blood, sweat and tears…which become tears of joy, relief and awareness!

Juz saying’ xx